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  1. Posted: July 31, 2015In: Public

    When a games tester encounters the virtual avatar of a dead friend in the real world, he must uncover a conspiracy that threatens our dimension.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on July 31, 2015 at 5:54 pm

    Why he "must" uncover the conspiracy? Can't he just freak out and do nothing? I assume that the virtual avatar is something very similar to a human being but this is not always the case, I think that this kind of movie will be very difficult to resume in a logline- anyway I think that you can be morRead more

    Why he “must” uncover the conspiracy? Can’t he just freak out and do nothing? I assume that the virtual avatar is something very similar to a human being but this is not always the case, I think that this kind of movie will be very difficult to resume in a logline- anyway I think that you can be more clear, it would help.

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  2. Posted: July 31, 2015In: Public

    in the near future a Government sponsored torturer is using his position to steal information and money from death row inmates. He is unaware that his next prisoner is an undercover agent sent to trap him.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on July 31, 2015 at 5:42 pm

    Hello, it can be interesting but I see 2 problems: 1- it is written from the point of view of the torturer who can hardly be a good main character. I personally spontaneoulsy root for the undercover agent. 2- this is only a situation, the beginning, and it doesn't give enough details about the seconRead more

    Hello, it can be interesting but
    I see 2 problems:

    1- it is written from the point of view of the torturer who can hardly be a good main character. I personally spontaneoulsy root for the undercover agent.

    2- this is only a situation, the beginning, and it doesn’t give enough details about the second act which is the biggest part of the movie.

    Why in a near future?

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  3. Posted: July 31, 2015In: Public

    When a white man uses tribal magic to kill people with their own shadows an Aboriginal youth is sent to stop him from destroying reality.

    FFF Mentor
    Added an answer on July 31, 2015 at 5:37 pm

    Hello, "destroying reality" I can't understand what it means, I should put something more concrete.

    Hello, “destroying reality” I can’t understand what it means, I should put something more concrete.

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