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When a frustrated public servant is fired from his meaningless job, he decides to become a masked vigilante, protecting his neighbourhood.
Hello, this could be funny but as a logline it lacks information about the 2/3 of the movie: what happens when he protect his neighbourhood?
Hello, this could be funny but as a logline it lacks information about the 2/3 of the movie: what happens when he protect his neighbourhood?
See lessWhen their uncle is murdered by the Irish Mafia because of the debt passed on by their dead father, two unlucky brothers must fight against mobsters and the corrupt policemen who control the streets of Boston to ultimately dismantle the oldest crime group in the United States or die trying.
Hello, You still need a proper adjective to describe the 2 brothers ("unlucky" is not compelling at all). But the main question is, why 2 brothers? I don't know where I read this, but I htink that you have to cut all that is not necessary, so why 2? You have to explain this in term of story needs. SRead more
Hello,
See lessYou still need a proper adjective to describe the 2 brothers (“unlucky” is not compelling at all). But the main question is, why 2 brothers? I don’t know where I read this, but I htink that you have to cut all that is not necessary, so why 2? You have to explain this in term of story needs. Something like:
“When their uncle is murdered by Irish mafia, a honest liquor store owner join his violent brother to take their revenge”. The cop is secondary for the logline. The cop is ‘more of the same’. You have an action/revenge movie. You can go for it, trying to write the best of its kind or you can try to start with a material that is more rich or sophisticated. Do you want to write a “Road to perdition” or a dolph lundgren/chuk norris contemporary movie?
A solitary man unable to sleep for 15 years survives by recording everything he sees and playing it back to differentiate between reality and hallucinations, until he becomes the only witness of a multi million dollar crime and every single person wants to alter his reality.
very interesting! Memento meet The Machinist. I think you can improuve your ligline avoiding some minor details :"for 15 years"... it's not relevant, 15,20, 50, the important is that he cant sleep at the moment of the crime. Then you can start with the inciting event and describe it more clearly: whRead more
very interesting! Memento meet The Machinist.
See lessI think you can improuve your ligline avoiding some minor details :”for 15 years”… it’s not relevant, 15,20, 50, the important is that he cant sleep at the moment of the crime. Then you can start with the inciting event and describe it more clearly: what crime? what is a multi-million dollar crime? You can be more specific to improuve the logline.
Finally, be more specific about the enemies: “every single person”, this is not a compelling character, this is vague.
The concept is very interesting, this is definetely the kind of movie I want to see, as a logline there some more work to do in my opinion.