1. Posted: May 23, 2015In:

    When his bride loses her memory of him a week before the wedding, an unromantic guy's guy must restore it by recreating their courtship?s most romantic moments or face losing the love of his life.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, this is a pretty good logline! There's irony (a guy's guy who need to repeat his romantic moments), an inciting event (the amnesia), a clear goal (to marry the girl). There's a plan too: recreate their romantic moments- will it work? or not? that's interesting. I recommend to find a better tiRead more

    Hello,
    this is a pretty good logline!
    There’s irony (a guy’s guy who need to repeat his romantic moments),
    an inciting event (the amnesia), a clear goal (to marry the girl).
    There’s a plan too: recreate their romantic moments- will it work? or not? that’s interesting.

    I recommend to find a better title whit some irony in it.

    I don’t have problems with the realism or unrealism of the amnesia- it’s a comedy right?
    Have you seen the horrible movie where Harrison Ford loose his memory and his wife become a stranger to him? Try to avoid the same errors 🙂

    You can improve your logline with a little rewriting to have a better writing style, making it even shorter and funnier. I would avoid ‘unromantic’ for 2 reasons: 1st, it’s implicit in “guy’s guy”, 2nd, you say he had romantic moments so it’s a bit confusing. I suggest to change “face loosing” with just “loosing”.

    Good luck,

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  2. Posted: May 21, 2015In:

    A young advertising executive, on a rebound, falls for the girlfriend of his close childhood friend and woos her till she yields; they carry out a clandestine affair right under the nose of her boyfriend till she begins to suffer from guilt and decides to call off the affair; but her boyfriend comes to know of the affair and has his own plans.

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, try to answer to this questions: 1-what is the inciting event? 2-who is the main character? (describe him/her with one adjective) 3-what is his/her goal? 4-who is the antagonist (describe him/her with one adjective) or what forces are against the goal? Then write one sentence (no more than 40Read more

    Hello,
    try to answer to this questions:

    1-what is the inciting event?
    2-who is the main character? (describe him/her with one adjective)
    3-what is his/her goal?
    4-who is the antagonist (describe him/her with one adjective) or what forces are against the goal?

    Then write one sentence (no more than 40 words) where all this elements are clear.
    It isn’t easy but THAT would be your logline.

    for exemple:

    “When her geek boyfriend comes to know about her old affair, a prom queen must team up with her old stud lover to stop her boyfriend’s crazy plan to blow up the school”

    Good luck!

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  3. Posted: May 20, 2015In:

    Thomas Gunn an New Hampshire lawenforcement officer, gets a call from an old friend from Mississippi, to come down and solve a murder. Finding out who did it and many wrenchs thrown in the process

    FFF Mentor

    Hello, I recommend you to read this very short article about how to write a logline: http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/ It explains why you should avoid the character name, for example. It seems to me that you have a main character (you have to find a good adjective to describe hRead more

    Hello,
    I recommend you to read this very short article about how to write a logline: http://www.raindance.org/10-tips-for-writing-loglines/

    It explains why you should avoid the character name, for example.

    It seems to me that you have a main character (you have to find a good adjective to describe him), and you have an inciting event (the call), but we have very little clues about what really happens in the movie, and what makes it interesting.

    If I say “mr Cool get a call from an old friend to solve a murder and a lot of cool stuff happens”, are you interested? This is maybe a starting point: it’s clear that this is a ‘detective’ movie, now you have to tell us where is the specificity of your story.

    Good luck!

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