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A woman's ghost appears to her husband to try and prevent his suicide and convince him to go on living. The longer she stays the less chance she has of entering heaven and the harder it is for him to move on.
Not bad but I think there is some problems. If the longer she stays the harder it is for him to move on, why she doesn't just let go and so solve her problem to enter heaven in time? Besides, I would suggest to condense a little more: A woman's ghost must prevent his husband suicide before the heaveRead more
Not bad but I think there is some problems. If the longer she stays the harder it is for him to move on, why she doesn’t just let go and so solve her problem to enter heaven in time?
Besides, I would suggest to condense a little more:
A woman’s ghost must prevent his husband suicide before the heaven door close [but the longer she stays with him the harder it is for him to move on].
See lessIn a leisure female-only Utopia where sex is the only taboo, a willful girl must escape from her restrained community to join her lover who has been sent away.
The audience is social-independent-science fiction fans who loves small sf movies set in strange worlds. Actually, it's more "the village" than "logan's run". Did I mention that all the women in the movie are extremely beautiful, often half naked and that there are some hot lesbian scenes? Should IRead more
The audience is social-independent-science fiction fans who loves small sf movies set in strange worlds. Actually, it’s more “the village” than “logan’s run”. Did I mention that all the women in the movie are extremely beautiful, often half naked and that there are some hot lesbian scenes? Should I mention this in the logline? (how?)
See lessIn a leisure female-only Utopia where sex is the only taboo, a willful girl must escape from her restrained community to join her lover who has been sent away.
Good questions, good questions. She MUST escape if she want to join her lover (and she want to join her lover). Maybe it is not strong enough as a motivation? The lover of the MC has not been properly "exiled" : in fact she has been sent to another community as part of a ritual. It's too complicatedRead more
Good questions, good questions. She MUST escape if she want to join her lover (and she want to join her lover). Maybe it is not strong enough as a motivation? The lover of the MC has not been properly “exiled” : in fact she has been sent to another community as part of a ritual. It’s too complicated maybe. At least, I know what I need to change to make the stoy work. Anything else?
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