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An illegal gun store owner and father to be chases freedom from a world of violence he helped to create.
I agree 'chases freedom' is a bit ethereal. Also 'father to be'. Do we need to to know that? Is it essential to the story? Is it the core ? What does he do? How does he fight the violence he has created? Does he take up arms? There's a lot of conflict in: 'An illegal gun store owner takes up arms toRead more
I agree ‘chases freedom’ is a bit ethereal. Also ‘father to be’. Do we need to to know that? Is it essential to the story? Is it the core ? What does he do? How does he fight the violence he has created? Does he take up arms? There’s a lot of conflict in:
‘An illegal gun store owner takes up arms to fight the violence he’s helped to create.’
See lessA violent gangster turns vigilante when his young son is murdered, but when he executes an undercover cop, his operation backfires.
Thanks Andrew. You're right about the 'operation' even though he would probably class it as that - it isn't. Any suggestions how to end it?
Thanks Andrew. You’re right about the ‘operation’ even though he would probably class it as that – it isn’t. Any suggestions how to end it?
See lessA violent gangster turns vigilante when his young son is murdered, but when he executes an undercover cop, his operation backfires.
thx, well, yeh the dead kid bit is back story. The Hero's been a vigilante for 5 years when we enter the story, which is the moment the son of the undercover agent he murdered infiltrates his gang to get his own revenge. The hero's outward goal is to find a leader to continue his vigilante work whenRead more
thx, well, yeh the dead kid bit is back story. The Hero’s been a vigilante for 5 years when we enter the story, which is the moment the son of the undercover agent he murdered infiltrates his gang to get his own revenge.
The hero’s outward goal is to find a leader to continue his vigilante work when he either a) is caught or b) is killed. His inner need is to let go of his dead son and embrace the family he has left, his wife and teenage daughter, who he’s tearing apart through his obsession with his vigilantism (protecting the world from evil).
He thinks he’s achieved his goal and found the leader when the kid of the undercover agent he’d killed turns up and saves his daughter from a street attack.
The kids fresh back from a tour of Afghanistan and is hard as nails but gentle too – just like he wished his son would have been. He gains a son.
But the hero doesn’t know this kid’s really there to kill him and avenge his dad, but at the same time the kid knows there’s a bigger force behind the hero –
The ringleader of the child trafficking ring who killed the hero’s son and set him up to execute the undercover agent…
There’s a lot going on so 25 words is proving tough !
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