1. Posted: February 17, 2013In:

    Threatened with losing custody of his son, a puritan leather worker is forced to cater for the under appreciated S&M market in his country town in order to afford child support.

    mmckean

    I'm assuming this is a comedy. I think it has potential :) The main flaw I can see is that at the beginning of the log line you say he is threatened with losing custody of his son, but then at the end of the log line you state he is taking a job in S&M to afford child support. This doesn't makeRead more

    I’m assuming this is a comedy. I think it has potential 🙂 The main flaw I can see is that at the beginning of the log line you say he is threatened with losing custody of his son, but then at the end of the log line you state he is taking a job in S&M to afford child support. This doesn’t make sense because child support is typically ordered on the non-custodial parent, so in saying he is trying to afford his child support implies that he has already lost custody of the child. Might want to do a little digging on child support laws before taking this on for a rewrite 🙂 The premise of a father taking such a job in order to pay child support is pretty cool though. Just need a little editing and youll be ready to go 🙂

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  2. Posted: February 16, 2013In:

    An amateur journalist, a superstitious scientist, and a teen know-it-all, unravel the mysteries of a mansion in the woods which is being guarded by a secret government agency.

    mmckean

    @nicholasandrewhalls, what do you think of this: "While on his first assignment covering a string of alleged UFO abductions, a tabloid journalist stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career when he discovers Point of Interest 9 -- One of nine mysterious mansions that have sprang up acrRead more

    Nicholas Andrew Halls, what do you think of this: “While on his first assignment covering a string of alleged UFO abductions, a tabloid journalist stumbles on what could be the story that makes his career when he discovers Point of Interest 9 — One of nine mysterious mansions that have sprang up across the globe over night.”

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  3. Posted: February 16, 2013In:

    An amateur journalist, a superstitious scientist, and a teen know-it-all, unravel the mysteries of a mansion in the woods which is being guarded by a secret government agency.

    mmckean

    Thanks, Richiev :) I do like that log line. Not sure if I like the 'haunted mansion' part of it though (it reminds me of that children's movie with Eddie Murphy). This isn't really intended as a farce, it's more like a thriller mystery story...similar to Nowhere Man or Warehouse 13, etc... The mansiRead more

    Thanks, Richiev 🙂 I do like that log line. Not sure if I like the ‘haunted mansion’ part of it though (it reminds me of that children’s movie with Eddie Murphy). This isn’t really intended as a farce, it’s more like a thriller mystery story…similar to Nowhere Man or Warehouse 13, etc… The mansion in the woods is one of nine gothic-style mansions that have suddenly appeared overnight, followed almost immediately by people going missing in the immediate vicinity. The secret government agency is restricting access to the house because the last reconnassance team that was sent in to investigate if possibly the missing persons were in there, never came back out and each time they send someone in the door slams shut and that person silently disappears. The tabloid journalist was originally assigned to the missing persons story so he could try to skew it in the direction of UFO abductions or the infamous chupacabres, but while taking photographs of busted trees and bent bushes, he stumbles across a laser beam that activates an alarm and he discovers the secret base….and infiltrates the camp to discover the mysterious house and that they are studying it trying to figure out what actions to take. But when he is discovered as an imposter, a scientist with the government (and also a fan of his work) helps him hide….eventually there is no place to go but this mysterious house and they both know that if they enter they will never come back out, but they enter anyways because its either that or face imprisonment. Them entering the house is the beginning of what kicks off the first season of the show. Inside they are confronted by different rooms, different times, different realities, portals to other worlds, ghosts, vampires, pretty much everything imaginable until they finally figure out the true nature of the mansion. They also meet some of the people that went missing (including a teenage girl named Melanie) And in the last episode they escape with the best story ever…perfect for the tabloids…but completely unbelievable haha. Im trying to convert all of that into a log line and/or synopsis lol. Here is another version I wrote of the synopsis : “While digging for a story that will ensure his job security, a journalist stumbles upon a mysterious mansion in the woods, guarded by the military, and discovers it is connected to a string of missing persons cases in the area.” Sorry this is so long.

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