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When a german soldier deserts he come across a jewish family and together they try to flee the country while being hunted by german soldiers.
First I would say "After" instead of "when" Second, this is a pretty solid logline, however if you could give the German soldier a ticking clock. Maybe a rondevu point he must reach in a specific time window, that'll help create more tension and conflict. Finally I agree with kjk11's point, use "NazRead more
First I would say “After” instead of “when”
Second, this is a pretty solid logline, however if you could give the German soldier a ticking clock. Maybe a rondevu point he must reach in a specific time window, that’ll help create more tension and conflict.
Finally I agree with kjk11’s point, use “Nazi” instead of “German”.
Good luck with this, nice idea. Hope that helped!
See lessA private investigator and hunter of supernatural creatures is searching for a missing twenty-year-old woman when he stumbles upon a vampire coven with plans to enslave humanity.
In loglines it helps to start with the event that triggers the story (Inciting incident) "After a young girl goes missing..." Also, if the story is personal in any way, it helps up the ante' "After his sister goes missing..." Hope that helped, good luck with this!
In loglines it helps to start with the event that triggers the story (Inciting incident)
“After a young girl goes missing…”
Also, if the story is personal in any way, it helps up the ante’
“After his sister goes missing…”
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessA private investigator and hunter of supernatural creatures is searching for a missing twenty-year-old woman when he stumbles upon a vampire coven with plans to enslave humanity.
Paranormal investigator
Paranormal investigator
See less