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As a renowned lifeguard struggles with his wife's suicide, his world is in shambles when he discovers that her rapist is a family member.
I would probably say, "his world turns to shambles" Also, what must the lifeguard do when he discovers the family member is a rapist? (That is the story) ----- "After he discovers his deceased wife's rapist is a close family member, a renowned lifeguard must..." (Not sure what goes after that) -----Read more
I would probably say, “his world turns to shambles”
Also, what must the lifeguard do when he discovers the family member is a rapist? (That is the story)
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“After he discovers his deceased wife’s rapist is a close family member, a renowned lifeguard must…”
(Not sure what goes after that)
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Sorry there wasn’t much to go on. Good luck with this!
See lessWhen a dubious Art Director discovers that a new government assurance, is a device to control S.I.F.A., he must rescue his girlfriend from a rogue employer.
Not sure what "...a new government assurance" means. (And how is an assurance a device?) Also, you set up the government as the bad guy in the beginning of the logline, then add a new bad guy' 'a rogue employer.' I would stick with one antagonist.
Not sure what “…a new government assurance” means. (And how is an assurance a device?)
Also, you set up the government as the bad guy in the beginning of the logline, then add a new bad guy’ ‘a rogue employer.’ I would stick with one antagonist.
See lessWith an uncanny ability to literally see the souls of his clients, a gifted portrait artist finds fame, fortune, and love; but when his true love escapes his grasp, he encounters a struggle to maintain his sanity while reclaiming his lost love.
This is one of those loglines where the first have and the second half don't quite mesh, so it's best to pick one or the other. Since the story seems to be the second half of the logline, I would go with that. "After his true love leaves him, a portrait artists with and uncanny ability to see the soRead more
This is one of those loglines where the first have and the second half don’t quite mesh, so it’s best to pick one or the other. Since the story seems to be the second half of the logline, I would go with that.
“After his true love leaves him, a portrait artists with and uncanny ability to see the souls of his clients, vows to quit painting until he wins back his soulmate.”
(Obviously the last part would be changed to whatever your character plans to do to “Reclaim his lost love”)
Hope that helped. Good luck with this!!!
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