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Larry Anglestand, the "Fudge King" is brutally murdered for his homosexuality and opposition to the archaic Blue Laws governing the town.
I am not sure you need the part about being murdered for being homosexual, since Larry is murdered for standing up against the blue laws and threatening to blackmail some powerful town officials when he doesn't get his way. Basically he's murdered for knowing too much. How about this: "After a localRead more
I am not sure you need the part about being murdered for being homosexual, since Larry is murdered for standing up against the blue laws and threatening to blackmail some powerful town officials when he doesn’t get his way. Basically he’s murdered for knowing too much.
How about this:
“After a local business man is brutally murdered, a rookie female cop investigates, even though it places her in the cross hairs of the most powerful man in town who’ll stop at nothing to cover the truth.”
Hope that helped, (If this is the same script as the one on Amazon, I would consider adding an inciting incident to tell us why Larry decides to stand up against the blue laws)
Anyway, this is a great premise for a story.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See less1965. A twin teenager is raped and murdered on the beach. The first female cop of the force solves the crime but fails to connect the lines between the sisters.
I agree with dpg, if you add the part of, "fails to connect the lines between the sisters," then you need to tell us how those lines connect with the murder. (If that gives away the ending, then I would drop that part in the logline and not even hint at it.)
I agree with dpg, if you add the part of, “fails to connect the lines between the sisters,” then you need to tell us how those lines connect with the murder. (If that gives away the ending, then I would drop that part in the logline and not even hint at it.)
See lessTrouble occurs in the casino night clubs. Tough men and one woman are hired to control the crowds. Can they control themselves?
A logline usually includes a lead character, an inciting incident, a goal for the lead, and someone or something standing in their way. I can't tell from your logline, who's the lead character, what they want, what's standing in their way or who's the antagonist, as a result this seems more like a tRead more
A logline usually includes a lead character, an inciting incident, a goal for the lead, and someone or something standing in their way.
I can’t tell from your logline, who’s the lead character, what they want, what’s standing in their way or who’s the antagonist, as a result this seems more like a tag line than a logline.
Following the story a bouncer in a casino sounds like an interesting premise, I believe a good logline will be able to sell it the premise.
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
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