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A courageous teenager vehemently exposes her extremist step father in order to pursue an education with the help of a contemporary female saint and together they overthrow the radical mosque.
Hello Nadia, interesting idea. In a logline you have a main character (Protagonist) who must must do (This) in order to accomplish their goal. (You also need something or something standing in their way) In your logline, you have given us two things they "Must" do. One is expose her father next is tRead more
Hello Nadia, interesting idea.
In a logline you have a main character (Protagonist) who must must do (This) in order to accomplish their goal. (You also need something or something standing in their way)
In your logline, you have given us two things they “Must” do. One is expose her father next is to overthrow a radical mosque. As a result the logline is a little too long.
In order to keep the logline short, I would stick to one of those goals and tell us how accomplishing it relates to her getting an education.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessThe Greek gods and goddesses from myth are very much real, callous, and they are all coming for an unsuspecting 16-year-old Alexandra Adler, whether she likes it or not.
This attempt is better JBalmer because you first attempt makes it seem like the Greek Gods are the protagonists. However I would note that if the Greek Gods are hunting her, it is implied that they are real and not myth therefore saying "the Greek gods and goddesses from myth are very much real..."Read more
This attempt is better JBalmer because you first attempt makes it seem like the Greek Gods are the protagonists.
However I would note that if the Greek Gods are hunting her, it is implied that they are real and not myth therefore saying “the Greek gods and goddesses from myth are very much real…” is repetitive
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When a sixteen-year-old girl discovers the ancient Greek gods are hunter her she must (do this) in order to (prevent this)
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
See lessOn the eve of World War Two, aboard the Orient Express, a reporter uncovers a German plot to kidnap a national leader, and must discover how the victim has somehow been made to magically vanish from the speeding train. If he fails the Nazis triumph. If he succeeds all the passengers may die.
Interesting idea brenkilco. I like what you did Tony, I condensed the first half of the logline a little. When a national leader vanishes on the Orient Express on the eve of would war two, an enterprising reporter must... ------- This is the point the logline gets tricky because in the original loglRead more
Interesting idea brenkilco.
I like what you did Tony, I condensed the first half of the logline a little.
When a national leader vanishes on the Orient Express on the eve of would war two, an enterprising reporter must…
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This is the point the logline gets tricky because in the original logline, I don’t know what: “If he fails the Nazis triumph. If he succeeds all the passengers may die.”
I think the problem is, we don’t know what national leader we are talking about, the leader of France? England? Russia? A national labor leader? If we knew who the leader was it would help us understand what the stakes were.
Sorry that wasn’t much help, good luck with this!
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