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When a government Space station is taken over by a terrorist organisation, its paper pushing engineer must escape to help protect both his wife and national security
Just curious, How does the main character escaping help protect his wife? Is she on a different space station? Does he need to get to her? Just a question I had when reading the logline. Good luck with this!
Just curious, How does the main character escaping help protect his wife? Is she on a different space station? Does he need to get to her?
Just a question I had when reading the logline. Good luck with this!
See lessDesperate to win his ex-girlfriend back, an amateur writer experiments with mother nature to create a horror story that will make him famous. But when his experiment takes an unexpected turn for the worst, he must find a way out of a difficult predicament.
Hey mmckean I was reading through this and beside needing to be a little more specific, I noticed a big problem with the logline. You have created two goals, The first goal is winning back his ex-girlfriend. The second goal, he needs to find a way out of a difficult predicament. (And you have a possRead more
Hey mmckean
I was reading through this and beside needing to be a little more specific, I noticed a big problem with the logline.
You have created two goals, The first goal is winning back his ex-girlfriend. The second goal, he needs to find a way out of a difficult predicament. (And you have a possible third goal which is to become famous)
This takes away from the logline and adds to the word count.
You should stick with one goal and one action to accomplish the goal.
Hope this helped, good luck with this!
See lessA group of psychology students get lost on their way home during a hurricane, and are forced to take shelter in a mansion occupied by psychopaths.
First: You should cut... "A group of psychology students get lost on their way home during a hurricane" And change it to. "After a group of Psychology students take shelter in a secluded mansion" ----- Next: You should give the group a goal. "After a group of psychology students take shelter in a seRead more
First: You should cut…
“A group of psychology students get lost on their way home during a hurricane”
And change it to.
“After a group of Psychology students take shelter in a secluded mansion”
—–
Next: You should give the group a goal.
“After a group of psychology students take shelter in a secluded mansion they must battle the psychotic residents if they are to survive the night.”
—–
Finally: Any detail you can bring to the logline that will distinguish this story from any other– “Take shelter in a secluded mansion”– story would be great.
“After a group of psychology students take shelter in a secluded mansion, they must use there psychology skills on the psychotic residents if they are to survive the night.”
In other words, since they are Psychology students and they are stuck in a mansion occupied by psychopaths, instead of battling the residents maybe they survive by helping them become sane.
Psychopath: I’m gonna eat your brains!
Psychology student: Tell me about your mother? Did you have a good relationship?
(Alright that might be a little too out there, hehe)
Anyway, hope that helped, good luck with this!
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