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When an acerbic alcoholic finds himself penniless and alone he has no choice but to crash his family?s holiday. Years of alienating them makes for a stiff challenge, but eventually he subtly helps them heal.
Interesting idea, There does seem to be a problem with the logline however. In the first part you set up the problem, He is penniless and alone. Then at the end you present a solution, He helps his family heal. Those two plot points are not related. There doesn't seem to be a connection from the proRead more
Interesting idea,
There does seem to be a problem with the logline however.
In the first part you set up the problem, He is penniless and alone.
Then at the end you present a solution, He helps his family heal.
Those two plot points are not related. There doesn’t seem to be a connection from the problem to the solution.
If his family helped him overcome his alcoholism, then the first part and the second part would relate but instead the second line seems to come out of nowhere.
Still, this does seem to be a good idea; along the lines of home for the holidays. With a few changes the logline should be able to reflect the story better.
Hope that helped, good luck with this.
See lessAfter a troubled teen girl is caught vandalizing state property, she is ordered to spend 6 months in juvenile detention center; where she falls in love with the, married, faculty art teacher.
Where is the conflict? Who is standing in the way of their love? What are the consequences if they are caught? Will she she spend more time in custody? "Incarcerated for vandalism, a troubled teen girl falls for the facility art teacher but if the warden, his wife, discovers the affair her life willRead more
Where is the conflict?
Who is standing in the way of their love? What are the consequences if they are caught? Will she she spend more time in custody?
“Incarcerated for vandalism, a troubled teen girl falls for the facility art teacher but if the warden, his wife, discovers the affair her life will become a living hell.”
Alright that was clunky but I tried to give conflict and consequence to the logline.
Good luck with this!
See lessAfter joining the crew of an AWOL Confederate steamer, an idealistic medical student must survive the savagery of the ship's captain and crew in order to take part in the destruction of a Union whaling fleet in the Pacific Ocean.
Sounds like a great idea Nicholas, glad to hear it happened.
Sounds like a great idea Nicholas, glad to hear it happened.
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