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A mute man is graced with the power to read minds. As he climbs the social ladder he struggles to work out his place in society.
Silent Reader
Silent Reader
See lessA young man in his 20’s believes to be the actual ghost of Jim Morrison, using the body as vessel, he sets forth on a journey into the heart of the desert where he believes to find a ‘Gateway to Heaven’.
Because you only have about 25-30 words to work with you should cut where possible. "he sets forth on a journey into the heart of the desert" "Journey's to the heart of the desert." Don't say someone sets forth, or starts, or begins. In movies characters don't "begin to walk", "they Walk." They don'Read more
Because you only have about 25-30 words to work with you should cut where possible.
“he sets forth on a journey into the heart of the desert”
“Journey’s to the heart of the desert.”
Don’t say someone sets forth, or starts, or begins. In movies characters don’t “begin to walk”, “they Walk.” They don’t “set forth on a journey,” they “Journey.”
“A singer who believes he’s possessed by Jim Morrison, journey’s to the heart of the desert to find a ‘Gateway to Heaven'”
The problem is you have no conflict. What’s standing in the protagonists way? You should at least hint at what’s opposing your lead characters goal in the logline.
Hope this helps, good luck with this!
See lessThe chronicles of Nomar Kendrapall, the dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire, as he struggles to maintain control while his sociopathic son hatches Machiavellian schemes to usurp the throne, his rivals jockey for power, and an alien empire threatens to re-ignite an interstellar war.
Your last logline attempt--- "The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power midst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire." ---Is much better, it says the same thing but with less words.
Your last logline attempt—
“The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power midst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.”
—Is much better, it says the same thing but with less words.
See less