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A self help guru with waning confidence is blackmailed into helping an inept super villain take over the world.
This logline doesn't have a goal. What's the guru's goal? Once we know what the super villain is using to blackmail the guru, we will know what the guru's goal is. For-instance if the super villain kidnapped his sister, then saving his sister would be the goal. Also, I would say "Insecure self helpRead more
This logline doesn’t have a goal. What’s the guru’s goal?
Once we know what the super villain is using to blackmail the guru, we will know what the guru’s goal is. For-instance if the super villain kidnapped his sister, then saving his sister would be the goal.
Also, I would say “Insecure self help guru” instead of “A self help guru with waning confidence” because it’s shorter.
Hope that helped, I think there is a solid idea here. good luck with this!
See lessHaunted by his past, a chance encounter forces Matthew to face his truth as he battles to survive the trials of the First World War.
This logline would help if you were more specific. "Haunted by his past..." doesn't really tell us anything. Haunted by the death of his mother, Haunted by his past as a hitman, would tell us more. "a chance encounter forces Matthew to face his truth..." Because we don't know what is haunting his paRead more
This logline would help if you were more specific.
“Haunted by his past…” doesn’t really tell us anything. Haunted by the death of his mother, Haunted by his past as a hitman, would tell us more.
“a chance encounter forces Matthew to face his truth…” Because we don’t know what is haunting his past we don’t have any clue as to what face his truth means.
“…as he battles to survive the trials of the First World War.” I am not sure how this relates to the first part of the logline. It almost seems out of place. Of course if his past is haunted by an overbearing father who was a General in the army, then we might understand how the first part of the logline relates to the second part.
If you were more specific, your logline would be greatly improved,
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessRemoved by poster. Plz remove
A thought just occurred to me. Is this a time travel movie? If so you should say, "a Russian master spy must travel back in time to..." Then finish the logline.
A thought just occurred to me. Is this a time travel movie? If so you should say, “a Russian master spy must travel back in time to…” Then finish the logline.
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