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An unassuming immigrant unleashes his secret oriental power on the criminal cartel intent on corrupting his family.
I like the second of those two, but I would say Unassuming immigrant instead of tiny.
I like the second of those two, but I would say Unassuming immigrant instead of tiny.
See lessWhen the entire 9th grade turn into robots overnight, a brash class captain must lead them to an underwater fortress before the military destroys them.
"When the entire 9th grade turn into robots overnight" There are millions of 9th graders in the world. How are they all going to fit on the captain's boat? I would tweak that line for clarity, Do you mean all 9th graders or specific 9th graders? Also, you don't need "overnight" unless it's key to thRead more
“When the entire 9th grade turn into robots overnight”
There are millions of 9th graders in the world. How are they all going to fit on the captain’s boat? I would tweak that line for clarity, Do you mean all 9th graders or specific 9th graders?
Also, you don’t need “overnight” unless it’s key to the conclusion of the movie.
See lessAn unassuming immigrant unleashes his secret oriental power on the criminal cartel intent on corrupting his family.
Everything is there. I would try personalizing it a little bit; instead of saying "corrupting his family," how are they corrupting his family? But this logline at most just needs tweaking not a major re-write. "When a criminal cartel lures his naive son into their organization, an unassuming immigraRead more
Everything is there.
I would try personalizing it a little bit; instead of saying “corrupting his family,” how are they corrupting his family?
But this logline at most just needs tweaking not a major re-write.
“When a criminal cartel lures his naive son into their organization, an unassuming immigrant unleashes his secret oriental powers to get him out.”
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