1. Posted: November 20, 2012In:

    When a group of Indigenous people is abducted by aliens, Warrun leads a breathtaking escape from their Earth-orbiting spaceship, only to learn the shattering truth of their origins.

    Richiev Singularity

    This idea is good but the logline a little messy. "When a group of indigenous people are abducted by aliens, a young warrior must lead their escape before the ship leaves our solar system forever."

    This idea is good but the logline a little messy.

    “When a group of indigenous people are abducted by aliens, a young warrior must lead their escape before the ship leaves our solar system forever.”

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  2. Posted: November 20, 2012In:

    With Phillip feeling like Barbra has let herself go, he gets another heavy load on his back, literally, when he finds out that she has entered them into the Wife Carrying Contest in hopes that it will revitalize their marriage.

    Richiev Singularity

    I really don't like the new motivation in this version of the logline. "A husband feels his wife has let herself go." will probably turn off every woman reading it. (And the purpose of a logline is to sell people into watching not turn them away) I think you should stick with something like, "With tRead more

    I really don’t like the new motivation in this version of the logline.

    “A husband feels his wife has let herself go.” will probably turn off every woman reading it. (And the purpose of a logline is to sell people into watching not turn them away)

    I think you should stick with something like, “With their marriage struggling…” as the motivation.

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  3. Posted: November 20, 2012In:

    Freshmen at Chauncey Vocation High School Frank, Harry and Danny are a group of kindhearted degenerates learning to deal with life in high school.

    Richiev Singularity

    What is their goal and who is standing in the way?

    What is their goal and who is standing in the way?

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