1. Posted: June 17, 2019In:

    A modest girl is pressured by her overbearing mother into partaking in a dangerous aging experiment that could benefit humanity and please her mother but ruin the girl?s life as she knows it. Now, the girl must learn to cope and escape this newfound nightmare.

    Richiev Singularity

    This is an interesting situation, but what is the lead character's goal, and what is standing in the way of that goal?

    This is an interesting situation, but what is the lead character’s goal, and what is standing in the way of that goal?

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  2. Posted: June 14, 2019In:

    After years of watching from the wings, a determined young artist sets out to make her place on the world?s stage..

    Richiev Singularity

    I wouldn't completely abandon your last logline, It was catchy, Instead, I would just add a couple of things to it.The main thing your first logline was missing is what set the story in motion. Why does she come off the wall now, what happens?Here is an example of an event that sets her course in moRead more

    I wouldn’t completely abandon your last logline, It was catchy, Instead, I would just add a couple of things to it.

    The main thing your first logline was missing is what set the story in motion. Why does she come off the wall now, what happens?

    Here is an example of an event that sets her course in motion, obviously yours would be different this is just an example:

    “When everyone forgets her birthday, a wallflower comes off the wall, and vows to make the world her stage”

    Second, you were missing a specific goal, what does, “Make the world her stage” look like on screen? Is it dating the ‘hot’ guy? Is it letting it all out and telling everyone the brutal truth? How does she make the word her stage?

    In other words, what is her specific goal?

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  3. Posted: June 14, 2019In:

    On the eve of her final night at an urgent care center, an opiate-dependent nurse practitioner must overcome her addiction to fight off a gang of violent teen junkies, fiending for the stash of narcotics.

    Richiev Singularity

    Why her? (Just curious)I'm just wondering why she doesn't do like a bank teller who is being robbed and just tell them, take what you want. After all the drugs can be replaced but human lives can't.I think you need the gang to take someone she cares about, hostage. That way she can't just walk awayRead more

    Why her? (Just curious)

    I’m just wondering why she doesn’t do like a bank teller who is being robbed and just tell them, take what you want. After all the drugs can be replaced but human lives can’t.

    I think you need the gang to take someone she cares about, hostage. That way she can’t just walk away but must do something.

    Also, you need to get rid of her phone. At the beginning of the story, you should show her phone battery on empty and she forgot her phone charger. Just make it a quick ten-second scene where she realizes she forgot her charger but she is late so she can’t go back home to get it. Otherwise, people will wonder why she just doesn’t call the cops.

    Anyway, good luck with this, it sounds interesting.

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