1. Posted: May 3, 2017In:

    Two sleazy disgraceful cops become unlikely heroes in their last-ditch effort to save their jobs and the damaged reputation of their department by vowing to take down a powerful drug and sex trafficking operation they?re steady customers of.

    Richiev Singularity

    If the inciting incident is, 'they become heroes', Then that event should lead to the main problem/goal of the story.

    If the inciting incident is, ‘they become heroes’, Then that event should lead to the main problem/goal of the story.

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  2. Posted: May 3, 2017In:

    A bitter yet compliant African slave is killed for a crime he didn?t commit and is revived through black magic. Upon discovering he?s immortal, he?ll spend decades trying to recover what was stolen from him. New Logline: After a revived African slave discovers he is immortal after being framed for murder, he spends each passing century fighting bigotry to end how blacks are viewed in America. 5/3/2017

    Richiev Singularity

    If his goal is to recover what was stolen from him; then the inciting incident should be about his possession being stolen. And why what was stolen was so important or personal.

    If his goal is to recover what was stolen from him; then the inciting incident should be about his possession being stolen. And why what was stolen was so important or personal.

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  3. Posted: May 3, 2017In:

    When an alcoholic son discovers his father gets occasionally possessed by a harmful evil spirit, he must protect his family from danger that threatens them and then find a way to stop it for good.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    You don't need to say 'son' if you mention 'his father' "When an alcoholic discovers his father..." Also Nir's logline attempt is solid.

    You don’t need to say ‘son’ if you mention ‘his father’

    “When an alcoholic discovers his father…”

    Also Nir’s logline attempt is solid.

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