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When the wildest gunslinger in the west is wanted dead, an underemployed ranch-hand sets out to capture him alive for the biggest cash reward.
"When the wildest gunslinger in the west is wanted dead..." This is not a good inciting incident to put into your logline. The inciting incident should tell us 'why' the lead must go after the gunslinger. What is the compelling cause. Why must the lead take this dangerous course of action? If you adRead more
“When the wildest gunslinger in the west is wanted dead…”
This is not a good inciting incident to put into your logline. The inciting incident should tell us ‘why’ the lead must go after the gunslinger.
What is the compelling cause. Why must the lead take this dangerous course of action?
If you add a gripping reason the lead must take this specific action, your logline will improve.
See less‘When a mentally ill patient refuses to leave his home, a probationary constable discovers her training could never prepare her for the deadly lesson she?s about to face.’
Your updated version is better.
Your updated version is better.
See lessWhen an exhausted Driver contemplating a life change, receives an ultimatum to go into work on his day off. He must deal with an assorted bunch of characters, who will shape what direction he will take his life.
A more specific goal will help this logline. "Contemplating a life change" is vague... Does he want to be a writer? A doctor? Does he want to own a surfboard shop in Tahiti? In a logline, specifics are good.Also what the lead has to deal with should also stand in the way of the goal... How does dealRead more
A more specific goal will help this logline. “Contemplating a life change” is vague… Does he want to be a writer? A doctor? Does he want to own a surfboard shop in Tahiti? In a logline, specifics are good.
Also what the lead has to deal with should also stand in the way of the goal… How does dealing with an assorted bunch of character’s stand in the way of his goal of contemplating a life change?
In conclusion, adding a specific goal and something standing in the way of that goal will help this logline.
Hope that helps, good luck with this!
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