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A relentless Class President investigates the disappearances of fellow female students only to find out a once beloved Teacher holds them captive, unable to prove him guilty to the Police she is forced to use herself as bait to lure him into a trap.
Why doesn't the Class President just call the police?
Why doesn’t the Class President just call the police?
See lessIzzy Concannon: Rogue, outlaw, lost Terran, finds herself on a doomed vessel hunting the last of the mad battleships in deep space.
You haven't give us the 'Why' in your logline. Why must she hunt this mad battleship Also, you haven't give us 'Stakes' what bad thing will happen if the lead character doesn't succeed. If you add those two elements to your logline will improve. hope that helps, good luck with this
You haven’t give us the ‘Why’ in your logline. Why must she hunt this mad battleship
Also, you haven’t give us ‘Stakes’ what bad thing will happen if the lead character doesn’t succeed.
If you add those two elements to your logline will improve.
hope that helps, good luck with this
See less[Revisedx3] At the worst possible moment, a girl calls upon the dark arts to teach her mother to be nicer to the cat.
Your previous logline attempts were better. The problem with this one, "At the worst possible moment" (Know thing from previous attempts) is from the point of view of the mother. But the lead character is the girl/cat. I liked the inciting incident where you told us her mother turns her into a cat.Read more
Your previous logline attempts were better.
The problem with this one, “At the worst possible moment” (Know thing from previous attempts) is from the point of view of the mother. But the lead character is the girl/cat.
I liked the inciting incident where you told us her mother turns her into a cat. That sets up the revenge angle, which tells us the leads goal.
See less