1. Posted: February 8, 2016In:

    Failed documentarian roams the New Mexico mountain hunting a story until he stumbles onto a cult of women crucifying drug dealers to purge sin. He believes he’s found the story of a lifetime if he can live to tell it. Breaking Bad meets The Lottery.

    Richiev Singularity

    "When a failed filmmaker discovers a town crucifying men to purge sin, he must..." (Then tell us what he must do)

    “When a failed filmmaker discovers a town crucifying men to purge sin, he must…” (Then tell us what he must do)

    See less
    • 0
  2. Posted: February 6, 2016In:

    The world’s fate rest on one man with zero combat skills, to save it he has to survive the police, the army and assassins from another dimension who kills without remorse.

    Richiev Singularity

    I am not seeing the connection why this one man is the only one who can save the world? Why him? This question would probably be answered if you were to add the inciting incident into the logline.

    I am not seeing the connection why this one man is the only one who can save the world? Why him?
    This question would probably be answered if you were to add the inciting incident into the logline.

    See less
    • 0
  3. Posted: February 4, 2016In:

    In order to save her abducted daughter, a desperate American expatriate must stop an inexorable Nigerian terrorist from launching a nuclear attack on Nigerian soil.

    Best Answer
    Richiev Singularity

    Since the motivation is to save the daughter, what she must do should directly relate. In your logline her daughter is abducted, then later it switches to, she must stop a nuclear attack; that's alright, but you need to add a connection so we understand how stopping the nuclear attack relates to getRead more

    Since the motivation is to save the daughter, what she must do should directly relate. In your logline her daughter is abducted, then later it switches to, she must stop a nuclear attack; that’s alright, but you need to add a connection so we understand how stopping the nuclear attack relates to getting her daughter back.

    —–
    “When her daughter is kidnapped by Nigerian terrorists, a desperate American expatriate has 24 hours to discover their whereabouts before they strap a nuclear bomb on her child and destroy the city of Lagos.”
    —–

    Hope that helps, good luck with this.

    See less
    • 0