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Two farmers in Iceland are framed by the Sheriff and sent to Denmark to slave in chains for the rest of their life. The younger one returns after 20 years to realize he has a son and wants revenge.
To me, you have described the set-up of the story, but not the story itself. The story would be the revenge, the events that occurred twenty years ago are the set-up Also, the story seems to be about one farmer, since he is the one getting revenge. it's his story. hope that helped, good luck with thRead more
To me, you have described the set-up of the story, but not the story itself. The story would be the revenge, the events that occurred twenty years ago are the set-up
Also, the story seems to be about one farmer, since he is the one getting revenge. it’s his story.
hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessAt a popular theme park the new dancer/actor must try to survive and find the killer when employees begin to disappear and die before she becomes their next victim.
----- "When employees begin disappearing at a local theme park, an unpopular new dancer must discover who is behind it, before she becomes the next victim." ----- However, Nir Shelter made an interesting point, the investigation should be personal. In a story like this the question is, why does sheRead more
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“When employees begin disappearing at a local theme park, an unpopular new dancer must discover who is behind it, before she becomes the next victim.”
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However, Nir Shelter made an interesting point, the investigation should be personal. In a story like this the question is, why does she have to find the killer? Why not quit her job or leave the investigation to the police? Making it personal will answer those questions.
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“When her best friend disappears at the local theme park, an unpopular new dancer vows to investigate but risks becoming the next victim.”
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Anyway, this attempt of yours was much better than the previous attempts. With a little adjusting I believe you will have it down.
Good luck!
See lessAfter an Alien invasion leaves their planet in ruins, Impulsive and rebellious Jake must lead his friends in a galactic search to rescue thier families from the Aliens that captured them.
This attempt is much better, however I would leave out the lead characters name, instead say something like: 'an impulsive and rebellious teen must...' Other than that, this is really good.
This attempt is much better, however I would leave out the lead characters name, instead say something like: ‘an impulsive and rebellious teen must…’
Other than that, this is really good.
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