Categories: Comedy
I like this premise -- the logine is in need of some refining though... way too wordy, maybe explaining more than it needs to. Below is just my take:
"When kidnapped by a desperate pop-star wanna be and forced into writing an album for him, ?a once famous songwriter must reconcile with his muse ? his ex wife, for inspiration."
Good luck with it.
Tony Edward's version certainly distills the concept to its essence.? However,?it spawned 2 alternate takes?in my mind.? Take #1 focuses on the "A" story:
When kidnapped by a pop-star?wanna be, ?a once famous songwriter has 30 days to write a hit album for his kidnapper or die.
(24 words)
It ups the?dramatic tension with higher stakes (his life) and a ticking clock (30 days).
But, alas, it fails to include the " B" story twist that?his only hope of survival.? So take #2:
When kidnapped by a pop-star?wanna be, ?a once famous songwriter has 30 days to write a hit album for his kidnapper or die, a task he can only accomplish by reconnecting with his muse, his ex-wife.
(37 words)
The general rule is that a logline is supposed to be about the "A" story.? Only.?? But there are exceptions to every rule.? And to my way of thinking,? the "B" story is the hook in the concept; it's ?what makes the "A" story in this logline?compelling -- in order to live he must reconnect with his muse.? Love is his only?hope for survival-- a bonding agent between audience and the protagonist doesn't get any stronger than that.
(Although I do wonder?how?can he?win her back when he's being held hostage.? But then that's why ?smart phones, email, texting, Instagram and Twitter were invented, to give writers additional options and flexibility for telling their stories.)
Anyway, despite it's length, despite it being an "A" & "B" story logline, I'm inclined to favor #2.? Best wishes with this story.
Tony Edward's version certainly distills the concept to its essence.? However,?it spawned 2 alternate takes?in my mind.? Take #1 focuses on the "A" story:
When kidnapped by a pop-star?wanna be, ?a once famous songwriter has 30 days to write a hit album for his kidnapper or die.
(24 words)
It ups the?dramatic tension with higher stakes (his life) and a ticking clock (30 days).
But, alas, it fails to include the " B" story twist that?his only hope of survival.? So take #2:
When kidnapped by a pop-star?wanna be, ?a once famous songwriter has 30 days to write a hit album for his kidnapper or die, a task he can only accomplish by reconnecting with his muse, his ex-wife.
(37 words)
The general rule is that a logline is supposed to be about the "A" story.? Only.?? But there are exceptions to every rule.? And to my way of thinking,? the "B" story is the hook in the concept; it's ?what makes the "A" story in this logline?compelling -- in order to live he must reconnect with his muse.? Love is his only?hope for survival-- a bonding agent between audience and the protagonist doesn't get any stronger than that.
(Although I do wonder?how?can he?win her back when he's being held hostage.? But then that's why ?smart phones, email, texting, Instagram and Twitter were invented, to give writers additional options and flexibility for telling their stories.)
Anyway, despite it's length, despite it being an "A" & "B" story logline, I'm inclined to favor #2.? Best wishes with this story.
