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  1. Posted: December 2, 2013In: Public

    When a many-times-jilted long-distance truckie falls in love online with a city writer, he must learn to trust again, to win her heart.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on December 5, 2013 at 12:00 pm

    Louise, I am a little worried about the dichotomy between your description of the truck driver in you logline and his actions you have described while summarizing your story. ---- 1)Your description is: many-times-jilted 2)Your action is: This truckie (truck driver) will have to get Sydney freight aRead more

    Louise, I am a little worried about the dichotomy between your description of the truck driver in you logline and his actions you have described while summarizing your story.
    —-
    1)Your description is: many-times-jilted
    2)Your action is: This truckie (truck driver) will have to get Sydney freight as often as possible and convince the writer to join him on a road trip
    —-
    This doesn’t seem like the action of a Many-times-jilted truck driver. (It sounds like someone looking for love, not hurt by love)

    I think you would be better served if the ‘love interest’ was “Forced” upon him. His actions would be something along the lines of:

    A) This is the last thing he wants. (He just wants to be left alone)
    B) He reluctantly accepts the situation
    C) He begins to enjoy the situation.
    D) He gets scared when he realizes he fallen in love and then tries to run away.
    E) He realizes he’s made a mistake and has to win her back. (He accepts love)

    The conflict of the story would be between what he wants and what he needs.

    What he wants: To be left alone
    What he needs: To love again.

    Just some thoughts. Hope that helped!

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  2. Posted: December 2, 2013In: Public

    When a many-times-jilted long-distance truckie falls in love online with a city writer, he must learn to trust again, to win her heart.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on December 5, 2013 at 9:25 am

    Is this script already written, or are you starting with the logline?

    Is this script already written, or are you starting with the logline?

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  3. Posted: December 2, 2013In: Public

    When a many-times-jilted long-distance truckie falls in love online with a city writer, he must learn to trust again, to win her heart.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on December 5, 2013 at 9:24 am

    How about if you changed the inciting incident, see if that helps: ----- "After the love of his life dumps for his best friend, a brokenhearted truck driver struggles to overcome gun-shy-nature when he meets a quirky waitress in Sidney." ----- Just a thought, hope that helped!

    How about if you changed the inciting incident, see if that helps:
    —–
    “After the love of his life dumps for his best friend, a brokenhearted truck driver struggles to overcome gun-shy-nature when he meets a quirky waitress in Sidney.”
    —–
    Just a thought, hope that helped!

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