1. Posted: July 3, 2013In:

    Santa F

    Richiev Singularity

    "When a former luchador discovers his estranged daughter's in danger, he must fight a human trafficking ring in order to save her."

    “When a former luchador discovers his estranged daughter’s in danger, he must fight a human trafficking ring in order to save her.”

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  2. Posted: July 3, 2013In:

    After reading a page from a spell book an incorrigible boy discovers a cursed princess trapped in a tree in his backyard. He must break the spell and save his father from his new girlfriend, the Witch.

    Richiev Singularity

    I agree isabelle, 'Problematic' should be changed Also, spells are broken, I would change the word 'released'. And, Even though Mayoress is a word, a female Mayor is just a Mayor (Now days) Finally I don't believe you need to say, "for a new mall" in the logline. Just saying the mayor is corrupt impRead more

    I agree isabelle, ‘Problematic’ should be changed

    Also, spells are broken, I would change the word ‘released’.

    And, Even though Mayoress is a word, a female Mayor is just a Mayor (Now days)

    Finally I don’t believe you need to say, “for a new mall” in the logline. Just saying the mayor is corrupt implies she is bulldozing the park for improper reasons. (No need to explain further)
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    How about this:

    “When and incorrigible young boy discovers a princess trapped in a tree, he must brake the spell before a corrupt Mayor bulldozes the park.”

    Hope that helped, good luck with this!

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  3. Posted: July 3, 2013In:

    After a relationship coach's hired by distraught parents to convince their thirty-something son to leave the nest, matters become complicated when she falls in love.

    Richiev Singularity

    Thanks DPG, I thought I would try a 'classic' logline to hone my skills a little. I like your re-write.

    Thanks DPG, I thought I would try a ‘classic’ logline to hone my skills a little. I like your re-write.

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