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After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest, he finds himself with a wooden box that possesses a powerful ring, but there is someone else, who wants the power.
That is definitely better Forrest. You could even get more specific if you wanted. Instead of White-collar man you could say Banker or Stockbroker in order to give more description to the reader. Hope that helped, good luck with this!
That is definitely better Forrest. You could even get more specific if you wanted. Instead of White-collar man you could say Banker or Stockbroker in order to give more description to the reader.
Hope that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen a lost young man's mind is filled with memories of fallen heroes, he races against a dark mystic to find a powerful ancient relic that can save the realm or plunge it into darkness.
That's a better attempt. You should probably use and adjective with memories. "Terrible memories." "overwhelming memories" because having memories of forgotten heroes sounds like a great thing. Also you might want to change "Young" because it doesn't give us a sense of personality. How about startinRead more
That’s a better attempt.
You should probably use and adjective with memories. “Terrible memories.” “overwhelming memories” because having memories of forgotten heroes sounds like a great thing.
Also you might want to change “Young” because it doesn’t give us a sense of personality.
How about starting like this:
“After a clever wanderer’s mind is cursed with overwhelming memories,..”
Hoped that helped, good luck with this!
See lessWhen a lost young man's mind is filled with memories of fallen heroes, he races against a dark mystic to find a powerful ancient relic that can save the realm or plunge it into darkness.
Kriss, I think he means vision. "When a young hero receives a vision of a magic sword he must find the relic to destroy an evil wizard in order to save the realm." This story needs a twist or it will seem like other high fantasy stories.
Kriss, I think he means vision.
“When a young hero receives a vision of a magic sword he must find the relic to destroy an evil wizard in order to save the realm.”
This story needs a twist or it will seem like other high fantasy stories.
See less