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  1. Posted: March 20, 2013In: Public

    After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest, he finds himself with a wooden box that possesses a powerful ring, but there is someone else, who wants the power.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 20, 2013 at 10:14 am

    Since so much needs to be said in a logline, it's important to know what to cut and what to keep. Fore-instance, I would cut "After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest," Since going on a walk doesn't sound important to the story. I would also cut "he finds himself with a wooden box," bRead more

    Since so much needs to be said in a logline, it’s important to know what to cut and what to keep.

    Fore-instance, I would cut “After deciding to take his dog for a walk in the forest,” Since going on a walk doesn’t sound important to the story.

    I would also cut “he finds himself with a wooden box,” because the ring’s important, not what material the box is made of.

    -After finding a powerful ring-

    Next you should give us a glimpse of the main character, You simply refer to him as “He”

    How about, -A gruff woodsman-

    Next you should do the same for the Antagonist. You simply refer to him as “Someone Else”

    How about, -A greedy Wizard-

    Now you should tell us what the hero needs to “Do”

    -He must protect the ring in order to save the world-

    Now let’s try to put this together, maybe make a few small changes and see what comes up.
    ——
    “After finding a powerful ring, a gruff woodsman must keep the magical relic from a greedy wizard in order to save the world.”
    ——
    Your logline can be different of course, it might not be a ‘Gruff Woodsman’ but a ‘Lonely Baker’ but hopefully you see how I put this together.

    I have, good guy, his goal or what he needs to do, who or what is standing in his way and what the stakes are.

    Hope this helped. Good luck with this!

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  2. Posted: March 20, 2013In: Public

    After a horrific accident, two quarreling lovers are left in a comatose state. Not knowing what had happened they must fall in love once again to be awakened.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 20, 2013 at 7:31 am

    How about this: "After a horrific accident two comatose lovers meet in a dream state with no memory and must fall in love again if they're to awaken." Is there an Antagonist or obstacle besides their amnesia?

    How about this:

    “After a horrific accident two comatose lovers meet in a dream state with no memory and must fall in love again if they’re to awaken.”

    Is there an Antagonist or obstacle besides their amnesia?

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  3. Posted: March 20, 2013In: Public

    The dying emperor of a crumbling galactic empire struggles to hold onto power amidst his son?s machinations and the threat of war against a rival alien empire.

    Richiev Singularity
    Added an answer on March 20, 2013 at 7:22 am

    This logline is better, I like it. Sounds like a great story, good luck with this!

    This logline is better, I like it. Sounds like a great story, good luck with this!

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