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When a perfectionist contract killer takes out the wrong man he has only a few hours determine what went wrong before the Mob kills him.
These last two loglines you've posted are close, let me bring you into my thought process. 'Contract killer' is two words, 'Hitman' is one word 'Takes out' is two words, 'kills' or 'Assassinates' is one word. In a logline I would go with one word over two words every time. However your loglines areRead more
These last two loglines you’ve posted are close, let me bring you into my thought process.
‘Contract killer’ is two words, ‘Hitman’ is one word
‘Takes out’ is two words, ‘kills’ or ‘Assassinates’ is one word.
In a logline I would go with one word over two words every time.
However your loglines are getting increasingly better and the idea is great. Good luck.
See lessFaced with losing joint custody of his son, a puritan leather worker is forced to cater to the undervalued S&M market in his country town.
In spite what monique is saying, I stand by what I said. This is a good logline. It gives us, character, goal, conflict and irony. It does convey genre, it's in the vein of Full Monty or kinky boots. If you want to take her advice and change anything then the word "undervalued" would be the one chanRead more
In spite what monique is saying, I stand by what I said. This is a good logline.
It gives us, character, goal, conflict and irony.
It does convey genre, it’s in the vein of Full Monty or kinky boots.
If you want to take her advice and change anything then the word “undervalued” would be the one change that might improve it.
But seriously, this is a good logline.
See lessWhen a contract killer kills the wrong man he has only a few hours to find out how his flawlessly calculated hit went wrong and fix it before the Mob can take its brutal revenge.
I think this is your best attempt torg, I also like the little changes nicholas added. How about this: only a couple very minor changes from nicholas's attempt. "When a meticulous hitman kills the wrong target, he has (three) hours to determine what went wrong and fix it before the Mob takes it's brRead more
I think this is your best attempt torg, I also like the little changes nicholas added.
How about this: only a couple very minor changes from nicholas’s attempt.
“When a meticulous hitman kills the wrong target, he has (three) hours to determine what went wrong and fix it before the Mob takes it’s brutal revenge.”
“When a meticulous hitman kills the wrong target, he has (three) hours to determine and fix what went wrong before the Mob takes it’s brutal revenge.”
Obviously (three) could be changed to whichever number is correct.
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